Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

if you have questions about how to speak life… ask God in prayer or read the bible….

 Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. 33 Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34 You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.



to the evil spirit in your presence…say what jesus said… (possibly quietly… in your heart with all your heart)

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’

 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

then say to yourself…. the Father is merciful….and…

 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful,just as your Father is merciful.


Or manipulative community or nation… or world…. etc….

Do you have this thought often… when in the presence of humans?

“i might not have meet or talked to you before…

but i know…

You are an overcomer….

like me….”

The same God that created the universe created us… you and me… and is in us… both us together….

Do you remember…..  Now…?


“God, you care deeply for broken-hearted people.  This is a promise you make: You are close.  We pray for all those who are crippled by broken relationships.  Our hearts take the blow of disappointment.  We feel crushed because our hopes are dashed.  God, heal broken hearts.  We cannot fix our own wounds.  But you can.  If pieces of our heart have been lost, or are held captive by another, recover them and bring them back to us and miraculously “put us back together” so that our heart is whole again.  You are a mender of broken hearts.  We ask for this miracle, in the name of Jesus.”





Ricky and Fred can’t take their wives’ gossiping any longer, and Lucy and Ethel can’t take their husbands’ complaining. So the men make the women an offer: Whoever can hold their tongues the longest will get breakfast in bed. That night, Ricky pretends to be asleep and mumbles an irresistible made-up rumor: Their neighbor Mrs. Foster has run off with the milkman. Lucy immediately tells Ethel, and the husbands overhear them through the furnace pipe.

Fred (shouting into the pipe): Ethel, this is your conscience. You’ve been gossiping. Lucy: Ethel, you have the loudest conscience I have ever heard. Ricky: Lucy Ricardo, you’ve been gossipin’ too. Lucy: Oh, fine. Mine has an accent.

The Lucy stereotype is partially true. Women gossip somewhat more than men do, although both sexes talk largely about the same things (so long as you replace movie-star dish with sports and money talk). Women have broader social circles than men at all levels: They have more confidants, more friends and more casual acquaintances. Women gossip equally with their friends, boyfriends and husbands, whereas men gossip more with their girlfriends and wives than with their friends. But when it comes to information regarding potential mates, single men and women are both rabidly interested.

Gender differences in gossiping may exist because women were forced to adjust to new social environments more often than were men. Women moved in with their husbands’ families more often than husbands moved in with their wives’. A woman needed to learn the social structure of a whole new tribe, which required excellent networking abilities. While early man rarely needed to gather social information, early woman could not have survived without it.

But Robin Dunbar of the University of Liverpool has a different theory. He argues that human societies are essentially run by women. When women find it convenient, they gather in groups to raise their children. When they don’t, they pair off with men in monogamous relationships. “There is all this froth on top made by the men, pretending to rule the system, imposing themselves, and restricting what women do,” he says. “But women are running the system at the interpersonal level. If women were to stop socializing, society would fall apart.”

Sure enough, Ricky wins the battle but Lucy wins the war. As she serves him breakfast in bed, the milkman rushes into the Ricardo bedroom, followed by a furious Mr. Foster, who is wielding a pistol. Apparently, Ricky’s made-up rumor turned out to be true. Terrified of the trouble he started, Ricky ducks into the kitchen. With her husband gone, Lucy hands the milkman and Mr. Foster 10 dollars and thanks them for their brilliant performance. The lesson: Don’t mess with a woman and her gossip.

Like Lucy, we feign innocence with every act of gossip we commit.


Although sociologists often point out that gossip is essential for social control,
people often gossip in ways that don’t benefit society but that instead further
their own self-interest. According to Brison, “When people gossip they
are less interested in preserving social order than in advancing their own political
fortunes and slandering their rivals.”49 Gossip can thus function as a
weapon to wound others without providing any significant contribution to the
With respect to norms, gossip works in two directions—it can undermine
norms, but it can also affirm them. “On the one hand,” the legal scholar Robert
Post observes, “gossip threatens to subvert community norms by exposing
back-stage behavior and revealing the pretensions, faults, peccadillos, and
scandal of community actors. On the other hand, gossip reaffirms community
norms by bringing social pressure to bear on their enforcement.”50 According
to the law professor Paul Schwartz, revealing people’s norm violations will not
always effectively change norms.51 The number of people whose secrets are
outed is often insufficient to force a change in norms. Perhaps if the veils on
our lives were all removed simultaneously, society might collectively discard
certain norms. However, the process of changing norms is complicated, and it
is far from certain that more gossip will effectuate change in norms. Those
who seek to challenge norms they dislike by gossiping about transgressors may
instead increase the oppressiveness of the norms without doing much to eradicate
them. Disclosing personal secrets can create an atmosphere of coercion,
blackmail, and witch hunts.


Gossip is like any other addiction – it is a way of avoiding responsibility for your feelings, and can be used by the wounded self as a way to connects with others. The wounded self has numerous ways of trying to connect with others other than being truly authentic and caring, such as drinking together, smoking pot together, ridiculing others together, or even using things like food to get a sense of closeness without having to be authentic. Gossip is another one of the ways the wounded self tries to connect and get filled up externally when you are abandoning yourself.

“The problem is that it is hard to connect with others when you are disconnected from yourself. It ends up being a vicious circle. You disconnect from your own feelings, which makes your inner child feel alone and abandoned inside, which then leads to a fear of rejection, which then leads to you holding back who you are. This won’t change until you are willing to practice staying present in your own body with your own feelings and taking responsibility for them rather than avoiding them with gossip and other addictions. This is what the practice of Inner Bonding® is all about – learning how to take responsibility for your own feelings so that you have love and caring to share with others.”


It is easy to become addicted to drama and trapped in a vicious circle of our own making, where drama begets stress and stress begets drama.

Let’s take gossip as an example, something to which we’ve all either been on the receiving end or  – dare you admit it – the giving end! People gossip because it fuels their addiction to drama:

  • “Who on EARTH does she think she is?”
  • “She did WHAT?”
  • “Well, I think it’s shocking, don’t you?”

It’s no coincidence that if you do a Google image search on the word “gossip”you’ll find image after image of people (mainly women, alas) whispering to each other and looking, well… looking EXCITED!

We watch soap operas and thrillers because we get that same frisson of excitement, not because they relax us and make us feel at one with the world!When people gossip they are simply propagating their very own soap opera, without the expense of purchasing a TV license.

Drama is what makes the World goes round. Human beings are programmed to be able to deal with short rushes of adrenaline and cortisol. Back in the day as cavemen, we might have experienced that adrenaline rush whilst hunting a saber-toothed tiger or defending our cave from the marauders in the next cave who wanted to nick our freshly casseroled tiger.

In other words, that was how we got our drama fix. But after those short intense bursts of adrenaline and cortisol, we recovered.

But how do we get those adrenaline rushes in modern life?

Most of us don’t hunt tigers any more. We might go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week, but this isn’t going to satisfy the need for a primal rush. Most of the time, we are sedentary and safe.

So we seek other ways to get the rush. And herein lies DRAMA:

It seems that modern men and women are most likely seeking their adrenaline rushes in all the wrong places… 

  • By sending a furious email to one of our suppliers who has failed to meet an agreed delivery date
  • With that 5pm crisis meeting in the office
  • With the cycles of extreme highs and lows we get from addictions
  • By getting hooked on creating little “dramas” in our life by over-focusing on a “hiccup” and blowing it up into a “nightmare
  • By waking up at 3 am in the morning chewing over and over on a problem, even though you know you’re not going to solve it by doing so

And the dangerous thing is, when we propagate drama in these ways, we are experiencing a continual drip of adrenaline that is extremely corrosive because we elevate our cortisol levels. Which means we get stressed. And we stay stressed. And then we pile on some more stress.

By fuelling drama in our lives in such unhealthy ways, our bodies and minds are literally not getting the rest-bite they need. This means we experience things like chronic fatigue, weight gain, depression, depressed immune system. This is just the start of the list – you know where it ends.


Some people spread rumors as a way to intimidate others and gain status or popularity. But spreading rumors as a way to turn people against someone is a form of bullying — and it can have serious consequences for the person doing it.

Spreading unkind gossip in person or online is not a decent or mature way to act. It hurts the person being talked about, and it intimidates other people.

Sadly, when other people see this kind of thing going on, they don’t always stand up for what’s right. They may become less friendly to the person who is being talked about because they’re afraid of becoming the next target. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. In fact, seeing someone else getting bullied makes other people feel bad. Bullying is like meanness pollution. It affects everyone in the environment.

We don’t have to be good friends with everyone — or even like everyone. But not liking another person doesn’t give someone the right to spread rumors, gossip, or putdowns. Acting like this shows a lack of courage. It’s a false way to gain popularity or status in the group.

Real popularity comes from feeling comfortable with ourselves. People who are truly well liked treat everyone with respect and fairness. They don’t put other people down or try to gain power by having “followers.” They’re confident and sure of themselves, so they don’t have to resort to this kind of behavior.

So what can you do if you find yourself the target of rumors and social bullying?



Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 6:16-19

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

Proverbs 16:28

A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

Proverbs 21:23

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

James 1:26

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

Proverbs 20:19

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

Matthew 12:36

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Psalm 101:5

Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure.

Psalm 34:13

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.

Proverbs 18:8

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Titus 3:2

To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

James 4:11

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

Proverbs 17:4

An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.

Proverbs 26:20

For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.

Proverbs 11:13

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

2 Timothy 2:16

But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,

Proverbs 10:18

The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.

Exodus 23:1

“You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.

Romans 1:29

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips,

1 Timothy 5:13

Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.

Leviticus 19:16

You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord.

Proverbs 17:9

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Psalm 64:2-4

Hide me from the secret plots of the wicked, from the throng of evildoers, who whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words like arrows, shooting from ambush at the blameless, shooting at him suddenly and without fear.

Proverbs 19:5

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape.

Exodus 20:16

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

James 3:8

But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; …

Ephesians 4:31

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

2 Corinthians 12:20

For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.

Psalm 91:1-16

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, …

Proverbs 26:22

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Ephesians 4:15-16

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Psalm 50:19-23

“You give your mouth free rein for evil, and your tongue frames deceit. You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother’s son. These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I was one like yourself. But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you. “Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!”

Proverbs 10:19

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Romans 8:1-39

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. …

John 8:4-10

They said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. …

Jeremiah 9:1-11

Oh that my head were waters, and my eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people! Oh that I had in the desert a travelers’ lodging place, that I might leave my people and go away from them! For they are all adulterers, a company of treacherous men. They bend their tongue like a bow; falsehood and not truth has grown strong in the land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know me, declares the Lord. Let everyone beware of his neighbor, and put no trust in any brother, for every brother is a deceiver, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer. Everyone deceives his neighbor, and no one speaks the truth; they have taught their tongue to speak lies; they weary themselves committing iniquity. …

Psalm 23:1-6

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. …

Psalm 1:1-6

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; …

1 Peter 4:15

But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.

Isaiah 1:1-31

The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah. Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth; for the Lord has spoken: “Children have I reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me. The ox knows its owner, and the donkey its master’s crib, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand.” Ah, sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, offspring of evildoers, children who deal corruptly! They have forsaken the Lord, they have despised the Holy One of Israel, they are utterly estranged. Why will you still be struck down? Why will you continue to rebel? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. …

Hebrews 11:1-40

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God. …

Psalm 24:1-10

A Psalm of David. The earth is the Lord‘s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein, for he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the rivers. Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation. …

Genesis 3:13

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Matthew 25:40

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

John 16:10-16

Concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no longer; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. …

Proverbs 26:25-26

When he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.

James 1:23

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.

Titus 2:2-3

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

Matthew 7:1-29

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. …

Ezekiel 36:3

Therefore prophesy, and say, Thus says the Lord God: Precisely because they made you desolate and crushed you from all sides, so that you became the possession of the rest of the nations, and you became the talk and evil gossip of the people,

Proverbs 26:17

Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.

Philippians 4:1-23

Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; …

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Matthew 5:1-48

Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. …

Isaiah 54:17

No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

Romans 8:12

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.

Matthew 7:1

“Judge not, that you be not judged.

Deuteronomy 13:14

Then you shall inquire and make search and ask diligently. And behold, if it be true and certain that such an abomination has been done among you,

Proverbs 16:23-28

The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. A worker’s appetite works for him; his mouth urges him on. A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. …

1 Corinthians 11:23-29

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes. Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. …

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Proverbs 3:10-20

Then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. My son, do not despise the Lord‘s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. …


[We recommend that you set aside a good bit of time in a quiet place to pray for inner healing. This process can’t be rushed. It is usually helpful if you have someone to pray along with you—a trained counselor or minister, someone who knows a bit about healing prayer, or simply a friend who knows Jesus and wants to help you. It is not mandatory, but it can be helpful. Read through this entire process before you begin.]

When we are in the presence of God, removed from distractions, we are able to hear him more clearly, and a secure environment has been established for the young and broken places in our hearts to surface. We ask God to surround us with his presence. We give ourselves back over to him and come under his authority, for as Paul warns, it is possible to lose connection with our Head, who is Christ (Colossians 2:19). We declare the authority of Jesus over our hearts, for he made our hearts (Psalm 33:15) and he has redeemed our hearts (Romans 2:29).

Jesus, I come into your presence now, and I ask you to surround me. I come under your authority and your claim upon my life. I give myself to you—body, soul, and spirit. I give my heart to you, in every way—including the broken places in me. I declare your authority over my heart, for you made my heart and you have redeemed my heart.

Then we invite Christ in. We ask Jesus to come into the emotion, the memory, this broken place within us. We give him permission; we give him access. We open the door to this particular place in our hearts. “If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in” (Revelation 3:20). Truth be told, there are probably many broken places within us. Stay with one at a time, the one connected with the event or the emotion or the habit you can’t seem to escape. Ask Jesus to bring his light there. “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts” (2 Corinthians 4:6). Ask him to make it clear to you. What’s going on here, Jesus? What is this all about? Shine your light in my heart.

Jesus, I invite you into this broken place within me (this wound, this memory). I give you total access to my heart. Come, Lord, shine your light here. Reveal to me all that is going on here. What is this about, Jesus? Come and show me, meet me here, in this place.

Sometimes he will take us back to a memory, a time and place where a shattering blow was given. Other times he will make us aware of a young place in our hearts. Just the other evening, Stasi and I were in the living room together, reading. She told me she had been sad for several days, but she wasn’t sure why. There wasn’t anything sad going on in her life—quite the contrary. It had been a good several weeks with many blessings. But as she prayed about it, tuned in to her heart, she became aware of a place in her heart that felt as if it was weeping. Anytime someone says, “I feel like there’s this part of me…,” my radar lights up. We asked Jesus about it, and sure enough, there was a part of Stasi’s heart, about seventeen years old, that was grieving. We asked Jesus to come in and lead us in prayer for this brokenness.

We ask Jesus what he is saying to this wounded part of us, listening, as Payne puts it, “for the healing word that God is always sending to the wounded.” He will often bring words of love and kindness or comfort specifically to this place in our hearts: “You have the words of real life” (John 6:68, The Message). Sometimes he will ask a question: “Why are you frightened?” or “Will you let me heal you?” He is drawing this place in our hearts out from the shadows, out from hiding; he is bringing our brokenness into the place of assurance.

Jesus, come and lead me in healing this brokenness in my heart. Speak to me here, Lord. What are you saying to me? Give me ears to hear and eyes to see what you are revealing. Let no other voice speak but you, my Lord Jesus, and you alone.

Now, I think it is safe to say that we all have mishandled these places in our hearts. We push them down, as I did. Or we turn to something or someone we hope will bring comfort, like food or sex. If we have done that, Jesus will often make that clear to us as we pray. As he does, we confess our sins, renounce them (often a great act of the will), and ask him to cleanse our hearts (1 John 1:9).

Jesus, forgive me for the ways I’ve mishandled my brokenness. You alone make me dwell in safety. Forgive me for all my self-protection and self-redemption, and for all my false comforters. (You’ll want to renounce specific sins you are aware of here.) Cleanse my heart of every sin by your shed blood.

Oftentimes these young and broken places have become sites of spiritual strongholds.  All of the streams flow together for our healing; we must use the stream of Warfare as well. Our sins give the Enemy a certain claim to our lives (Romans 6:16). As we renounce any sin, we also renounce any claim we’ve given to Satan in our lives. This often comes in the form of “agreements”—Satan has suggested something to us, and we have said, “Yes.” He might have said, “Don’t ever trust anyone,” or “Your heart is bad—never show it to anyone,” or “You are dirty . . . lustful . . . addicted and never will get free.” Whatever we have agreed with, we renounce those agreements. We ask God to cleanse us by the blood of Christ; we command our Enemy to flee (James 4:7).

I now break every agreement I have made with Satan and his lies. (Get specific here. What have you believed, bought into?) I renounce any claim I have given to my Enemy, and in the name of Jesus, I command him to flee.

And then we ask Jesus to do for us the very thing he said he came to do: we ask him to heal this brokenness, to bind up our hearts. Sometimes he will ask us to take his hand in this shattered place, follow him into his heart and his presence within us. These places are often isolated from the life and the love of God in us; he draws them back into his presence and heals them through union with himself, in our hearts. Our part is to listen and follow where he is leading, and to welcome that part of our heart home. This is so important because many of us sent that part away. We welcome back the despised, forsaken part, just as Jesus embraces us.

Jesus, come now and do as you promised to do—heal my broken heart and set me free. (Listen here for what Jesus is saying.) Bring this place into your love and healing, bring this place home. I welcome your healing, and I welcome this part of my heart home. Come, bind me up and make me whole.


A Selection of prayers for those who are suffering through oppression or natural disaster throughout the world, together with verses and quotes that seem relevant.

Many struggle to see God when faced with natural disaster or the cruelty of other human beings. But God is always there in the hands of those who offer help and sustainance – whether offered by those of faith or no faith, forall love has its source in him.


‘The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.’
Psalm 34:18


‘Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.’
Psalm 94:17-19


We pray for all whose lives
have been touched by tragedy,
whether by accident
or a deliberate act.
For those who mourn,
immerse them in your love
and lead them through this darkness
into your arms, and light.
For those who comfort,
be in both the words they use
and all that’s left unspoken;
fill each heart with love.
We ask this through Jesus Christ,
whose own suffering brought us life,
here and for eternity. Amen

©John Birch



We are moulded, each one of us,
in the image of God,
and within our souls there is a fingerprint
none can erase.
We pray for those who have no regard
for anyone but self,
who put no value on human life.
For nations and individuals who abuse and kill.
We are not called to be judge or jury,
but we are called to be agents of change,
and if the butterfly that flaps its wings
should be our attitude to others
then so be it, Lord,
and may the hurricane this generates
somewhere within the world
reach into the hearts and souls of those
for whom we pray, and reveal to them
how precious are those
for whom they have no love,
and how precious are they
who now bring tears to the eyes of God.

©John Birch



God of wholeness, God of Grace,
to you we bring our thanks and praise.
To a world that searches
you are a lamp that shines,
to a world that is hungry
you are food that sustains,
to a world that suffers
you are hope of release,
to a world that’s broken
you are one who restores,
to a world full of hate
you are love that forgives,
to a world that denies
you are truth that endures.
To you we bring our thanks and praise,
God of wholeness, God of Grace.

©John Birch



For boys and girls
whose childhood
has been stolen
in the cause of war
and greed
bring restoration


©John Birch

Lord of heaven and earth
of all nations and peoples
all faiths and no faith
reveal yourself
to those who are suffering,
reveal yourself
to all who are refugees,
reveal yourself
to those who are powerful,
reveal yourself
to all who are powerless,
reveal yourself
to ordinary people
in their everyday lives,
that this world
might reflect your love
and your glory.


©John Birch



Bless the hands
that bring wholeness
to lives blighted by sickness.

Bless the saints who
in sad and desperate places
bring a sense of hopefulness.

Bless the Christians
facing daily opposition
showing a faithful witness.

Bless the generosity
of the rich and powerful
for the gift of thoughtfulness.

Bless the peacemakers
working in conditions
that are often hazardous.

Bless the politicians
whether good or bad
for decisions affecting all of us.

Bless our words and actions
as we carry your light
into places shrouded in darkness.

Bless your children
whoever they might be
with the warmth of your love and grace.


©John Birch


By your Word were all things created,
By your Word were all things given,
That all might live in your garden,
Eat the fruit of the land,
Drink your living water,
Grow in strength and wisdom,
Husband and wife,
Brother and sister,
Mother and child.

A: God of Peace
B: Sow seeds of hope in barren lands

By your Word love was established
In the beauty of each created thing,
That all might look to the mountains
And in their majesty find you.
In fertile fields and valleys
Crops and flocks would be tended,
Vineyards planted,
Communities grown,
Laughter heard

A: God of Peace
B: Sow seeds of hope in barren lands

By your Word humankind was given
The gift of true freedom
Within the safety of your love,
And chose independence.

By man’s word are established
Ruler and slave,
Rich and poor,
Full and starving,
Weak and strong.
By man’s word are established
Corruption and abuse,
Oppression and torture,
Selfishness and greed.
Within your garden,
Watered by your tears

A: God of Peace
B: Sow seeds of hope in barren lands


©John Birch



We pray for lives lost
families torn apart
lost and lonely

We pray for factories
destroyed in an instant
for machinery

We pray for rescuers
finding survivors
alongside bodies

We pray for recovery
in the years to come
for restoration

©John Birch


I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

(Psalm 57:9,10 NIV)




For all whose image of your creation
is marred by pain and suffering
A: Your kingdom come
B: Your will be done

For those who wake each morning
to shellfire and destruction
A: Your kingdom come
B: Your will be done

For children dispossessed of childhood
and transformed into soldiers
A: Your kingdom come
B: Your will be done

For orphans wandering lonely roads
to uncertain futures
A: Your kingdom come
B: Your will be done

For each persecuted family
carrying your Cross
A: Your kingdom come
B: Your will be done


©John Birch


When oppression
cruelty and fear
are all that is known
and suffering the daily experience
When famine
hunger and thirst
greet every morning
denying basic sustenance
How easy to say
there is no God
to turn aside
and label you an irrelevance
You who are
living water
bread of life
the one who offers deliverance
Who suffered
died and rose
bringing hope
that there is more to life than this
Bless all those
who in despair
and dark places
look to you for assurance
Bring comfort
peace and where
there is neither
bring to them abundance


©John Birch


There is silence in heaven
as the prayers of your saints
rise like the sweet incense
of a sacrificial offering
into your presence
(based on Rev 8:1-4)




Breathe love into lives ruled by fear
Soften hearts that are hardened by pride
Whisper gently to those bound by chains
Sow peace where conflict divides

©John Birch



God bless
the persecuted
and oppressed
God bless
the refugee
and dispossessed.

©John Birch


We pray
for the falsely accused
for the wrongly imprisoned
for the tortured or abused
for the orphan and widow
for the refugee and dispossessed
and above all
for our emotional detachment.
May we weep as you weep
love as you love
and not be afraid to be angry
for the sake of your children
wherever they might be.


©John Birch



Shine Lord into the shadows of this world
and by the light of your people dispel the darkness
that this world might glimpse your grace
and seeing it might understand the difference.

©John Birch

We bring to you
the suicide bomber
strapping explosives to her chest
in Afghanistan
and the reasoning
behind an act that seems
almost inhuman.
We bring to you
the politician
who rejects the rule of law
for one of terror
who clings to power
through the cruel persuasion
of torture.
We bring to you
influential people
with the opportunity to make
a difference
and who fail
because of complicity
or weakness.


©John Birch



‘God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.’

(Matthew 5:10 NLT)



Bless the hands
that bring wholeness
to lives blighted by sickness.
Bless the saints who
in sad and desperate places
bring a sense of hopefulness.
Bless the Christians
facing daily opposition
showing a faithful witness.
Bless the generosity
of the rich and powerful
for the gift of thoughtfulness.
Bless the peacemakers
working in conditions
that are often hazardous.
Bless the politicians
whether good or bad
for their decisions affect all of us.
Bless our words and actions
as we carry your light
into places shrouded in darkness.
Bless your children
whoever they might be
with the warmth of your love and grace.


©John Birch



If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.

(Lao-Tse – 6th Century BCE)




God of Love, God of Peace
This fractured word
Cries out in pain
Burns deep into my soul
And challenges me
To make a difference

God of Love, God of Peace
God of this world
Scarred by grief and tears
Ignorance and fear
Soften hearts of stone
And begin with mine

God of Love, God of Peace
Create within me
A heart for people
A desire for change
For new beginnings
To start this day

©John Birch


‘He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.’

(Micah 6:8 NIV)


For those involved in conflicts
The innocent
The guilty
The injured
Relief workers
For those involved in conflicts
Bring comfort
And a peace that can endure


©John Birch


If we had a fraction of the faith in you that you have in us
Then this world would be transformed, Lord.

If we showed a fraction of the love that you show to us
Then this world would be transformed, Lord

If we possessed a fraction of the patience that you display with us
Then this world would be transformed, Lord.

If we shared just a portion of the blessings that we have received from you
Then this world would be transformed, Lord.

If we showed as much trust in others as you have shown in us
Then this world would be transformed, Lord.

If we claimed just a fraction of the power you promised to your Church
Then this world would be transformed, Lord.

Transform us first, Lord, that we might transform this world
Through your love and your power.


©John Birch

‘Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.’

(James 3:18 NIV)



Bless those who are peacemakers
From all creeds and cultures
All who bring no other agenda
Than to see neighbour and stranger
Live together as one community
A: Bless the peacemakers
Strengthen and bless them

Bless those who are comforters
Shoulders to cry upon
A willing ear to listen
A present help in times
Of despair and hoplessness
A: Bless the comforters
Strengthen and bless them

Bless those who are healers
Of physical injury
And deeper hurts
Whose touch brings relief
From trauma and pain
Who brings compassion
A: Bless the healers
Strengthen and bless them


©John Birch


For children of all nations
forced through disease or hardship
to become mature beyond their years
and provide for the needs of family,
bless and empower them
and bring healing and compassion
to those for whom they care

©John Birch


This beautiful world
can be cruel
destroying life
and livelihood
in an instant,
challenging our faith
in a God who cares.
This beautiful world
is yours, Lord
created in love
gifted by grace.
Help us
understand it
care for it
protect it
and when disaster strikes
be there
if not in person
then in prayer.
©John Birch


Prayers for peace from other sources


The following two texts are taken from the Ecumenical Prayer Cycle on the Gulf region:

O God, who art the unsearchable abyss of peace,
the ineffable sea of love, the fountain of blessings
and the bestower of affection,
who sendest peace to those that receive it;

Open to us this day the sea of thy love
and water us with plenteous streams
from the riches of thy grace
and from the most sweet springs of thy kindness.

Make us children of quietness and heirs of peace,
enkindle in us the fire of thy love;
sow in us thy fear;
strengthen our weakness by thy power;
bind us closely to thee and to each other
in our firm and indissoluble bond of unity:

Syrian Clementine Liturgy (in: For all God’s people; p. 73)


Litany for Iraq

For lasting peace in this ancient land
From you, O Lord.
For wisdom and compassion for all in authority
From you, O Lord.
For comfort for families separated or bereaved
From you, O Lord.
For the release of captives
From you, O Lord.
For safety and security for minority communities.
From you, O Lord.
For refreshment for the weary and healing for the sick
From you, O Lord.
For continuing faithfulness of the ancient churches of this land
From you, O Lord.
For tenacity of spirit for small Christian groups
From you, O Lord.
For the mutual enrichment and support of those of different Christian traditions
From you, O Lord.

You, Lord of all, we confess;
You, Lord Jesus, we glorify;
For you are the life of our bodies
And you are the Saviour of our souls.

The response in the litany and this hymn both come from the Chaldean liturgy. The ancient hymn celebrates Christ the source of resurrection in all situations
of death and deprivation. (in: With All God’s People, p. 21, 22)




O bless this people, Lord,
who seek their own face under the mask and can hardly recognize it.
O bless this people that breaks its bond
And with them, all the peoples of Europe,
All the peoples of Asia,
All the peoples of America
Who sweat blood and sufferings.

And see, in the midst of these millions of waves,
The sea swell of the heads of my people.
And grant to their warm hands that they may clasp
The earth in a girdle of brotherly hands
Beneath the rainbow of thy peace.

By Leopold Sedar Senghor (a french poet and essayist, president of Senegal, west Africa in the 1960s)




Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

(attributed to, but not by Saint Francis of Assisi)



The following prayer is a very challenging one for anyone faced with a very personal tragedy and needing to be ‘at peace’ with the person responsible

“This soul did little good to me, O Lord.
But this soul was Yours.
So to this soul I say:
I bless the day you were born,
I bless your growing up,
I bless you even in your dark deeds,
And I bless you, soul, at your end.
Travel to God, Who transforms,
Travel to the Arms so wide,
Travel to the Spirit all generous. Amen.
(Unknown author)

(found in “Praying in the Presence of Our Lord” For the Holy Souls, by Susan Tassone, published by Our Sunday Visitor 2001.)


DEC 14, 2012

Three Ways Christians Should Respond to the Horror of a Broken World

The news is filled with horror. There is no other way to say it. It is horror. The horror of a broken world where evil is real.

Let me suggest some ways Christians should respond.

First, pray. Pray for hurting families and broken communities that have had their children ripped from them. Pray for churches to minister to the hurting. Pray for people not to lose heart. And, yes, pray for Jesus to come back and set this broken world right.

Some time ago I tweeted about the tragic suicide of a member of my extended family, ending my post with the words, “Maranatha. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.” Someone asked me, “Why did you say that? How are those things connected?” The answer is that ultimately we need Jesus to return and set this world right– we eagerly wait in hope for the return of our Savior. That’s why Christians pray for Jesus’ soon return.

We believe that right now our broken world rebels against its rightful King– and evil people do evil things. The innocent suffer. People are hurt and people hurt each other. People kill and are killed. The world is broken and needs its Maker to fix it.

So, we Christians pray as Jesus taught us, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

So, we pray for the hurting now and for Jesus to come back and end all the hurt– to dry every eye.

Second, don’t be afraid to say that the world is horribly broken. Speak about its broken condition. This brokenness is all around us. Evil is real– bad people are doing horrible things. The world really is broken.

In Subversive Kingdom, I wrote:

Look around. Our world is broken. I’m not talking about the “world” in terms of nature (although creation, too, bears the marks of sin’s blemish and decay). I’m talking about the “world” comprised of the people, structures, and systems that make up society–the moral patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that result in things like unfair business practices, racism, extreme poverty, dishonest government, dirty politics, family breakdown, cheating, stealing, oppression of the weak, and so many other distressors and defilers…

It stinks.

It’s bad.

It’s not right.

It’s broken.

And in homes and hospitals every day of the week, at courthouses and gravesides everywhere in the world, people of all spiritual makes and models suffer from it– from a world that toils along in hopeless disrepair.

The brokenness of the world is on full display this day. Don’t be afraid to talk about it. All the silly “positive thinking religion” collapses on days like this. This world is broken and only God has the ultimate fix.

Third, do something. Yes, hug your kids, but find a way to serve the others and be an agent of the Kingdom of God– an ambassador of Jesus in a world that does not follow him and His ways. Respond to this evil by doing good. Join Jesus on his mission.

We sense inside us a God-given desire to alleviate as much pain as possible with the tools and opportunities God has placed at our disposal. We hate watching people suffer from the debilitating effects of evil in the world. We want to see fallen and broken world, with its hurt and pain, driven back and overthrown. Yet, we can be pretty good at drowning out our heart’s compassion with large doses of television and distractions, but deep down we want to be part of making a difference in others’ lives.

So, don’t just watch the television news. Do something to change the broken world– show and share the love of Jesus. Again. More.

The hurting world needs God’s people living as those who care, because we do care. We can’t fix everything, but we can do something.

Let’s grieve with and pray for the hurting. Let’s call the world what it is– broken. Then, let’s recommit ourselves to living for Jesus and others in a broken world.

Hold your kids, cling to Jesus, and cry out, “Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Maranatha.

Much love


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s